So, why would I leave all of that? The inevitable follow-up question. One without a clear, concise answer. And that’s alright. Not all pivots can be neatly packaged for public consumption. The truth is often more nuanced, more layered. Yes, everything you’ve heard about the media industry played a role: the instability; the pressure to do more with less; the prioritization of profit over editorial independence; the slow departure of a once-engaged audience.

After more than a decade spent toggling between career and family, prioritizing one or the other, never finding the sweet spot between those competing demands but always feeling their impossible tug, I was ready to reimagine what professional and personal fulfillment could look like—on my terms.

This journey of self-discovery couldn’t have arrived at a better time. As I watch my daughters, ages 13 and 11, blossom into the people they’re meant to become, I realize that midlife and adolescence both involve pushing boundaries and expectations as we find our way on this twisty road the universe lays out for us. And as their mother and primary role model, I want to help my girls understand that there are no limits to what they can do. That no matter where life takes them, they can choose differently. That the old saying grownups often tell children—“you get what you get, and you don’t get upset”—doesn’t have to be true. Especially not in this world, which constantly asks women to endure, to shrink, to settle. I want my daughters to know that they don’t have to conform.

But I need to lead by example.

It took me a long time to learn that lesson. Held back by the voice in my head telling me to be grateful for what I had, to not want more, let alone demand it. Reminding me that my immigrant parents had to work multiple jobs to get by, so who was I to complain? But there’s a certain clarity that comes with age, letting us see what truly matters and summoning the guts, the agallas, to go after it even when it seems out of reach. And since the path isn’t necessarily a straight one, I am carving out space to connect with other smart women who’ve had to figure it out for themselves: connecting IRL for coffee and conversation. Building a Substack that centers motherhood and the ambitions that drive us. And aligning myself with other mission-oriented leaders through my board work for two education-focused national non-profits.

But mostly, I am thinking about my next chapter in the company of the people I love most. And while there’s nothing concrete to share yet, I continue to dream out loud within earshot of my daughters, sometimes pulling them in to talk about my ideas: projects I’m starting, writing I’m taking on. I see their eyes light up as they get excited about these brainstorming sessions. How wonderful for my girls to see their mom continue to evolve, just as they begin to chart their own paths. None of it is simple, and we’re bound to make mistakes, but we’re in it together.

I can’t ask for anything more. But then again, maybe I can. Why hold back, right?

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About the author

Grace Bastidas publishes The Mommune, a space dedicated to mothers and the people who support them. She is an award-winning journalist and parenting editor who has been writing, thinking, and speaking about parenthood for more than a decade and on every possible platform (magazines, digital, podcasts, live television, conferences). But, most importantly, she’s a mom of two.

P.S. What have you let go of to ask for more? We’d love to hear from you in the comments or el chat.

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How is it already May, sabias?!

Time is doing that thing it does in midlife where the months feel like weeks. But before we let it fly past us, let’s pause and shout out the sabias who showed up last week:

Adriana Phillips Guzman, Lydiana Garcia, Jessica Dueñas, Hady Méndez, Karla Guerrero Guerra, and Elena OutLoud. Last week’s prompt brought out really honest, hilarious, and tender wisdom. If you missed it, scroll back and go give it some amorcito. It is still landing.

Now, let’s keep going.

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How it works

1. Pick what you want to share. Either a fresh Note inspired by this week’s prompt below, a Note you’ve already written that deserves more eyes on it, or a recent Substack post you want us to help elevate. The prompt is just a starting point if you need one. One share per sabia per week, so make it count.

2. Drop your link in the comments. Paste the link to your Note or post, plus copy and paste the actual content (or the topic and a short excerpt if it’s a longer article). That way other sabias can read it right there and decide to click through.

3. Come back during the week. Visit at least two other sabias, read what they wrote, and like and leave a real comment that shows her you were actually there. The thread stays open all week, so check in more than once. The women who post on Wednesday deserve the same love as the ones who post today.

4. Restack her words if they resonate with you. That one click introduces her to your readers and is the most powerful thing you can do for another sabia on this platform.

Pick it up if it makes you laugh or immediately brings a story to mind. Or skip it and share whatever you want us to elevate this week.

We're keeping the Sabias Visibility Thread open to everyone through May because it has been too much fun to gatekeep. Paid or free, you're invited. If this is your first time joining us, here’s the full story of how the Sabias Visibility Thread works.

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Quick FAQ

Do I have to use the prompt? Not at all. The prompt is optional. You can share any Note or Substack post you want more visibility on.

Can I share more than one thing? One share per sabia per week so every voice gets room to breathe. Save the rest for next Monday.

Do I have to tag or mention Her Wisdom Era? No. Just post to your own profile and drop the link here.

What if I write in Spanish, English, or Spanglish? All three are welcome.

How long should my Note be? However long feels honest. Two sentences or two hundred words. We’re not counting.

When does the thread close? Never. The magic happens in the first few days when we’re all showing up together, but you can drop in anytime this week.

What if I’m new to Substack Notes? Go to your profile, click “Write a Note,” share your response, then click on the three dots in the upper right corner to copy the link to paste here.

Let’s have fun connecting with each other! 💫

To be or not to be visible? This question has been haunting me for the past eight years.

Then the phone rang, and it was mi amiga Ana with Her Wisdom Era idea. ¡Tan sabia ella! If you are reading this story, you have likely already heard how we came together to create this beautiful space. Since then, we’ve released two episodes of our podcast.

In Episode Two, María Hinojosa dropped gem after gem. Or like my dear friend Anja puts it: “Nena, les dio como 10 billboard-worthy quotes.” Of all of it, I have been thinking about something Maria shared that I cannot let go of.

And before I go there, let me tell you what was happening the day we recorded the episode. My daughter had been sick for three nights in a row, which means I was sleepless, cranky AF, exhausted, frustrated, and feeling small. Like, ¿qué ganas tengo yo de estar frente a una cámara hoy? Do I really need to do this all over again?

And then María started talking.

She told us that her daughter once looked at her and said, Mom, I don’t need María Hinojosa. I need my mom. And then her son Raúl added his own version of the same truth — that there were times when Suave (the incredible man behind the story that won María and her team a Pulitzer Prize in 2022) would call from prison and María would stop talking to her own son to take the call. Two children, two different moments, one shared message: the María, the mom, behind the public figure is the one we actually need.

I sat with that for a long time after we recorded. That night I finally slept well. Because I know that feeling, not at María’s scale, but in my own way. I know what it is to have spent years building a presence, a voice, a version of yourself the world can see and consume, while the people closest to you were waiting for you to just come home.

Was it the ego?

Visibility is something we have been taught to chase. Especially those working in media. Post more, show up more, be more, reach more. Que si eres influencer, que si no te ven se olvidan de ti, que si stay relevant!

And somewhere in that relentless pursuit, many of us stopped asking what it was actually costing us. The price we are paying for staying “relevant.” Like when you realize, most of the people around you feel like a transaction rather than a real connection.

María has spent nearly forty years walking into rooms where no one expected her to stay, being the first Latina at NPR, building Futuro Media from scratch in Harlem, winning a Pulitzer Prize, and still holding this perpetual internal conversation about what being visible really means. And what it asks of you when you also happen to be a mother and a wife and a woman who is, as she put it, still figuring it out in her 60s. The awards did not resolve that tension.

Let. That. Sink. In.

Maria made me feel free. I also felt seen. Because, while I know saying this here might be counterproductive, it gave me the courage to say things out loud. For once, I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with social media. Then she said, “The things that actually connect with people are never the planned, polished moments. They are the unscripted ones, the ones where I’m at the airport with my hair uncombed, reacting in real time to something that just broke my heart. You cannot program authenticity.”

The performed version of visibility, the one where you calculate what to show and how to frame it and what reaction it might get, will never land the way the real thing does.

So I did as I do: I made a list. Because if we are going to talk honestly about what visibility costs, we also have to talk about the rewards that only show up once you start being real.

When There’s Ego… You Better Call an Amigo!

Here Are the Rewards Visibility Has Given Me Thus Far:

1. People stop performing for you. When you stop performing, something almost miraculous happens: the people around you se relaja y coopera también. Your friends start texting the real version of what’s going on. Realness is contagious.

2. You find out who your actual people are. UFF! This one can be painful. And yes, some of them will surprise you. Your real community, your real friends, they were always there, just waiting for you to stop showing up as the curated version so they could finally reach you.

3. ¡Al carajo la impostora! Not because you’ve conquered the fear that comes with the so-called syndrome, let’s be honest, it still shows up at times, but because you’ve stopped pretending you don’t have it, which turns out to be most of the work.

4. You stop wasting energy on rooms that were never yours. This is a big one. You realize you were exhausted not from doing too much, but from doing too much in the wrong places, for the wrong people, in the wrong language. Visibility without alignment is just a longer commute to nowhere. Es energía dispersa.

5. The things you actually say start to land. Like, people get you. The thing you said at the airport, hair undone, half-frustrated, completely yourself. That imperfecta version of you starts making sense to the world.

6. You get to stop pretending the cost wasn’t real. You spent years absorbing the cost of visibility sin nombrarlo. It brought you loneliness, anxiety, and relationships that got less AND more of you than they deserved. Naming it makes you free to do it differently. Ponle nombre y apellido.

7. Being seen starts to feel like rest, not work. And that is the whole reward I’m starting to experience through my work at Her Wisdom Era, alongside the only woman I’d want to do this with, Ana. When visibility stops being a performance and becomes a truth, you stop feeling depleted. You start feeling more YOU.

What María shared with us will stay with me for a very long time. She said she still talks to her therapist about how to manage the tension between the public person and the private woman. She said it still kind of freaks her out. And she said that if being public and being available brings more love and security to our fellow Latinas, she is down for it. That is not ambivalence. That is wisdom! Knowing the cost and showing up anyway because the reason is bigger than the discomfort.

BOOM!

And that is what Her Wisdom Era is asking of all of us, me first. To open up to the possibilities being visible may bring. And to live our midlives with joy and freedom, even when scary, and then tell the truth about what that has been like.

That, as it turns out, is worth being visible for.

¿Seguimo’?

Mucho love,

Cristy

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Entonces sonó el teléfono: era mi amiga Ana, con la idea de Her Wisdom Era. ¡Tan sabia ella! Si estás leyendo esto, probablemente ya sabes cómo llegamos a crear este espacio tan hermoso. Desde entonces, hemos lanzado dos episodios de nuestro podcast.

En el episodio dos, María Hinojosa nos regaló diamante tras diamante. Como dice mi querida amiga Anja: “Nena, les dio como 10 citas billboard-worthy.” De todo lo que compartió, hay algo en lo que no puedo dejar de pensar.

Pero antes de llegar ahí, déjame contarte lo que estaba pasando ese día en que grabamos el episodio. Mi hija había estado enferma tres noches seguidas, lo que significa que yo estaba sin dormir, cranky AF, agotada, frustrada y sintiéndome pequeña. Literal pensé: ¿qué ganas tengo yo de estar frente a una cámara hoy? ¿De verdad tengo que hacer esto otra vez?

Y entonces María empezó a hablar.

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Nos contó que su hija, una vez, la miró y le dijo: “Mamá, yo no necesito a María Hinojosa”. Te necesito a ti. Y luego su hijo Raúl añadió su propia versión de esa misma verdad: que hubo momentos en que Suave (el protagonista del podcast que le ganó el primer Pulitzer a María) la llamaba desde la cárcel y María dejaba de hablar con su propio hijo para atender la llamada. Dos hijos, dos momentos distintos, un mismo mensaje: la María detrás de la figura pública, la mamá, es la que de verdad necesitamos.

Me quedé con eso durante mucho tiempo después de que grabamos. Esa noche por fin dormí bien. Porque yo conozco ese sentimiento, no a la escala de María, pero lo conozco. Sé lo que es haber pasado años construyendo una presencia, una voz, una versión de ti misma que el mundo puede ver y consumir, mientras las personas más cercanas a ti esperaban que simplemente regresaras a TI.

¿Sería el ego?

La visibilidad es algo que nos han enseñado a perseguir. Especialmente las que trabajamos en los medios. Publica más, aparece más, sé más, llega a más gente. Que si eres influencer, que si no te ven, se olvidan de ti, que si stay relevant.

Y en algún punto de esa persecución sin pausa, muchas dejamos de preguntarnos qué nos estaba costando realmente todo eso. El precio que pagamos por mantenernos “relevantes.” Ese momento llega cuando miras a tu alrededor y te das cuenta de que la mayoría de las personas en tu entorno se sienten más como una transacción que como una conexión de verdad.

María lleva casi cuarenta años entrando a cuartos donde nadie esperaba que se quedara, siendo la primera latina en NPR, construyendo Futuro Media desde cero en Harlem, ganando un Premio Pulitzer y, aun así, cargando con esa conversación interna tan perpetua sobre lo que significa ser visible de verdad. Ah, y lo que te exige sin compasión cuando, además, eres madre, esposa y una mujer que, como ella misma dijo, todavía está tratando de entenderlo todo a sus 60 años. Ni siquiera el montón de premios resolvió esa tensión.

Tenga. Pa’. Que. Se. ¡Entretenga!

María me hizo sentir libre. También me hizo sentir vista. Porque, aunque sé que decirlo aquí puede sonar contradictorio, me dio el valor de decir ciertas cosas en voz alta. Por ejemplo, siempre he tenido una relación de amor y odio con las benditas redes sociales. Y entonces ella dijo: “Las cosas que realmente conectan con la gente nunca son los momentos planeados y pulidos. Son los no guionizados, los del aeropuerto con el pelo recogido a las malas, reaccionando en tiempo real a algo que me acaba de romper el corazón. La autenticidad no se programa.”

La versión calculada de la visibilidad, esa donde mides lo que muestras, cómo lo enmarcan y qué reacción puede generar, nunca va a aterrizar de la manera en que lo hace lo real. Lo sin filtro.

Entonces hice lo que hago siempre que me pongo boba: una lista. Porque si vamos a hablar con honestidad de lo que cuesta la visibilidad, también tenemos que hablar de lo que regala, pero solo cuando empiezas a ser tú misma. O más real que Anuel AA, como dice Mami.

Cuando hay ego… ¡mejor llama a un amigo!

Las recompensas que la visibilidad me ha dado (hasta ahora):

1. La gente deja de actuar contigo. Cuando tú dejas de actuar, pasa algo casi milagroso: las personas a tu alrededor se relajan y cooperan también. Tus amigas te empiezan a mandar mensajes con lo que de verdad está pasando. La autenticidad es contagiosa.

2. Descubres quiénes son tus personas de verdad. ¡UFF! Esto puede doler. Y sí, alguna te va a sorprender. Tu comunidad real, tus amigas de verdad, siempre estuvieron ahí; solo esperaban que dejaras de aparecer como la versión curada para poder alcanzarte por fin.

3. ¡Al carajo la impostora! No porque hayas conquistado el miedo que viene con ese síndrome, seamos honestas, sigue apareciendo de vez en cuando, sino porque dejaste de pretender que no lo tienes, y resulta que eso es la mayor parte del trabajo.

4. Dejas de gastar energía en cuartos que nunca fueron tuyos. Esta recompensa es HUGE. Te das cuenta de que no estabas agotada por hacer demasiado, sino por hacer demasiado en los lugares equivocados, para las personas equivocadas, en el idioma equivocado. La visibilidad sin alineación es solo un camino más largo hacia ningún lado. Es energía dispersa.

5. Lo que realmente dices empieza a aterrizar. La gente te entiende. Esa versión tuya del aeropuerto, con el pelo mal recogido, medio frustrada, completamente tú misma, esa versión imperfecta empieza a tener sentido para el mundo.

6. Por fin puedes dejar de pretender que no te costó nada. Pasaste años absorbiendo el costo de la visibilidad sin nombrarlo. Te trajo soledad, ansiedad y relaciones que recibieron menos y más de ti de lo que merecían al mismo tiempo. Nombrarlo te da la libertad de hacerlo diferente. Ponle nombre y apellido.

7. Ser vista empieza a sentirse como descanso, no como trabajo. Y ese es el regalo que estoy aprendiendo a recibir a través de mi trabajo en Her Wisdom Era, junto a la única mujer con la que querría hacer esto, Ana. Cuando la visibilidad deja de ser una actuación y se convierte en una verdad, dejas de sentirte vacía. Empiezas a sentirte más TÚ.

Lo que María compartió con nosotras se va a quedar conmigo por mucho tiempo. Nos dijo que todavía habla con su terapeuta sobre cómo manejar la tensión entre la persona pública y la mujer privada. Que todavía la asusta un poco. Y que si ser pública y estar disponible resultan en más amor y más seguridad para otras latinas, ella está dispuesta a seguir haciéndolo. ¡Eso es sabiduría! Conocer el precio y aparecer de todas formas, porque la razón es más grande que la incomodidad.

¡BOOM!

Y eso es exactamente lo que Her Wisdom Era nos está pidiendo a todas, empezando por mí. Abrirnos a las posibilidades que la visibilidad puede traer y vivir este midlife con alegría y libertad, aunque dé miedo, y luego decir la verdad sobre cómo ha sido el proceso.

Con semejante lista de regalos, al final vale la pena ser visible.

¿Seguimo’?

Mucho love,

Cristy

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Las latinas llegamos a la menopausia dos años antes que la media nacional y, aun así, casi nadie habla de esto en nuestras comunidades. ¡Nosotras no teníamos ni idea!

En este episodio, Cristy Marrero y Ana Flores hablan con Gaby Natale, de menopausia.com, sobre todo lo que nuestras madres y abuelas se callaron durante su midlife.

Hablamos de por qué ese silencio (y cualquier tabú asociado a esta etapa) tiene que terminar con nuestra generación. Y de cuáles son los actos más revolucionarios que las mujeres en midlife podemos hacer por nosotras mismas.

Gaby es periodista independiente, ganadora de tres premios Emmy. Sobrevivió al cáncer de seno y entró en la menopausia inducida médicamente a los 46 años, justo en medio de su mejor año profesional. Al buscar información en español, encontró casi nada. Por eso creó menopausia.com, la primera plataforma digital bilingüe dedicada a la educación y la comunidad sobre esta etapa para mujeres latinas.

En este episodio hablamos (¡sin filtro!) sobre:

• Qué es la perimenopausia y por qué empieza antes de los 40

• Cómo cambia la vida sexual y afecta la salud mental

• Por qué los médicos desconocen muchos síntomas

• El diálogo interno que transformó a Gaby durante su tratamiento

• La app con IA que está ayudando a mujeres en menopausia

• Por qué decir tu edad en voz alta es el primer acto de revolución

Si tu mamá nunca habló de esto, si sientes que algo cambió en tu cuerpo y en cómo te sientes, pero no sabes qué es, este episodio es para ti.

Momentos Preferidos:

00:00 — 02:06 Intro

02:06 — 03:14 Las latinas y la menopausia

03:14 — 11:13 La historia de Gaby Natale

18:32 — 20:52 Los sofocos en Miami

20:52 — 21:36 Por qué nadie habla de esto en nuestras familias

21:36 — 27:54 Perimenopausia

27:54 — 30:19 La menopausia y la vida sexual

30:19 — 33:52 Por qué los médicos desconocen muchos síntomas

33:52 — 36:39 La menopausia coincide con el pico de liderazgo de la mujer

36:39 — 42:23 “Que se caiga lo que no se sostiene”

42:23 — 45:54 La app de IA para mujeres en menopausia

45:54 — 51:08 “Entre Sabias”: preguntas rápidas

La web de Gaby: www.menopausia.com
Más sobre Gaby Natale
El libro de Gaby: El Círculo Virtuoso

Algunas recomendaciones (no pressure!):

1. Suscríbete en Spotify, Apple Podcasts & YouTube

2. ¡No te pierdas ni un episodio! Todos los reviews nos ayudan muchísimo con las plataformas. Los SHARE también.

3. Síguenos en Instagram: @her.wisdomera | @anaflores_me | @mcristymmarrero

4. Videos en YouTube: @herwisdomera

Gracias por escucharnos.

Ana + Cristy

Créditos del episodio

Her Wisdom Era es presentado por Ana Flores y Cristy Marrero.

Nuestra productora es Laura Ubaté. La gran Lau.

Música original e ingeniería de sonido por Stephen Hermann de Explosion Robinson. Mejor conocido como “El Santo”.

Redes sociales a cargo del Team Belu. Las mejores.

Identidad visual por la diosa, Leticia Vidaurri.

Producción Ejecutiva: Ana Flores y Cristy Marrero.

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Welcome back, sabias.

Last week’s thread was a beautiful first showing, and we want to take a moment to shout out the women who jumped in and made it real:

Hady Méndez, Nancy Marmolejo, Adriana, Lydiana Garcia, Karla Guerrero Guerra, and Graffiti & Grace⎸ Fuego Cindy🔥. Gracias for trusting us with your words. If you have not visited their Notes yet, scroll back to last week’s thread and go love on them.

Now let’s do it again, even bigger this time.

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How it works

1. Pick what you want to share. Either a fresh Note inspired by this week’s prompt below, a Note you’ve already written that deserves more eyes on it, or a recent Substack post you want us to help elevate. The prompt is just a starting point if you need one. One share per sabia per week, so make it count.

2. Drop your link in the comments. Paste the link to your Note or post, plus copy and paste the actual content (or the topic and a short excerpt if it’s a longer article). That way other sabias can read it right there and decide to click through.

3. Come back during the week. Visit at least two other sabias, read what they wrote, and like and leave a real comment that shows her you were actually there. The thread stays open all week, so check in more than once. The women who post on Wednesday deserve the same love as the ones who post today.

4. Restack her words – only if they belong on your page too. That one click introduces her to your readers and is the most powerful thing you can do for another sabia on this platform.

We hear so much noise about what midlife is supposed to look like, and most of it was written by people who have never lived it. So tell her. The version of you who was scared, ambitious, lost, certain, or just doing her best. What does she need to know?

Threads are still open to everyone, paid and free. Starting in June, this becomes a paid-subscriber benefit. If this is your first time, here’s the full story of how the Sabias Visibility Thread works.

Subscribe now

Quick FAQ

Do I have to use the prompt? Not at all. The prompt is optional. You can share any Note or Substack post you want more visibility on.

Can I share more than one thing? One share per sabia per week so every voice gets room to breathe. Save the rest for next Monday.

Do I have to tag or mention Her Wisdom Era? No. Just post to your own profile and drop the link here.

What if I write in Spanish, English, or Spanglish? All three are welcome.

How long should my Note be? However long feels honest. Two sentences or two hundred words. We’re not counting.

When does the thread close? Never. The magic happens in the first few days when we’re all showing up together, but you can drop in anytime this week.

What if I’m new to Substack Notes? Go to your profile, click “Write a Note,” share your response, then click on the three dots in the upper right corner to copy the link to paste here.

Nos vemos en los comentarios. 💫

María Hinojosa was the first Latina hired at NPR. She built a media empire from scratch in Harlem. She won a Pulitzer Prize. And now, she’s at the peak of Her Wisdom Era and ready to show us what she’s made of.

In this episode, Ana and Cristy share the mic with the OG. They sit down with the iconic journalist, author, professor, and founder of Futuro Media Group to talk about what it truly means to be visible as a Latina midlifer. María has spent nearly 40 years walking into rooms where no one expected her to stay and changing the entire conversation, while telling everyone’s stories. But behind the awards, the titles, and the public persona is a woman who grew up feeling invisible, battled deep insecurity, and had to learn how to own her story without losing herself in it.

This conversation is for every woman who has been the first, the only one, and is ready to keep shining in midlife and beyond.

Favorite Moments:

00:00 – 05:00 Intro: Who is María Hinojosa?

05:00 – 09:00 Growing up invisible

09:00 – 12:00 Being the first Latina at NPR

12:00 – 17:00 Ego and humility, and what they have to do with each other

17:00 – 25:00 The Pulitzer story: a friendship with Suave

25:00 – 40:00 Rewriting your story when the old one no longer fits

40:00 – What it means to own your power in your 60s

57:00 – Entre sabias

Maria Hinojosa’s memoir: Once I Was You
Her podcasts: Suave, Latino USA
About Futuro Media Group

A few recommendations (no pressure!):

1. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & YouTube

2. Hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and leave a review so more sabias can find us.

3. Follow us on Instagram: @her.wisdomera | @anaflores_me | @mcristymmarrero

4. Watch us on YouTube: @herwisdomera

Gracias por escucharnos.

Ana + Cristy

Episode Credits

Her Wisdom Era is hosted by Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero

Our producer and editorial coach is Laura Ubaté. La gran Lau.

Theme music and sound engineering by Stephen Hermann for Explosion Robinson AKA El Santo.

Social media by Team Belu, the best.

Branding by la diosa Leticia Vidaurri.

Our Executive Producers are Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero.

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¡Buenos días, sabias!

We can hardly believe it has almost been a full week since we launched Her Wisdom Era, and the way you’ve shown up for us already has us completely lit up in the best way. Gracias for subscribing, for restacking, for commenting, for telling your friends. You are the reason this space exists, and we feel it.

Today we get to start something we have been dreaming about for a while: the very first Sabias Visibility Thread. We are genuinely excited about this one because we know what it can do for your Substack reach, your visibility, and your community here on the platform. When sabias show up for each other in Notes and comments, real things happen. Friendships are made, followers grow, new readers find you, and your words travel further than they ever could on their own.

Since we just launched, we are opening April’s threads to everyone, paid and free, so you can experience what this practice feels like from the inside. Starting in May, it becomes a paid-subscriber benefit.

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Now, on to the must-knows.

Here’s this week’s prompt:

You have three ways to participate every week. Write a fresh Note responding to the prompt above and post it publicly on your Substack profile. Or share a Note you’ve already written that deserves more eyes on it. Or drop in a recent Substack post you want us to help elevate.

Whatever you bring, paste the link and a short excerpt or copy of your Note in the comments below.

Visit at least two other sabias in the comments (¡mientras más mejor!), read what they wrote, leave a real comment that shows her you were actually there, and restack her words if they resonate with you. You will feel the reciprocal love.

That’s the practice. Write or share, show up, make her wisdom visible.

If this is your first time joining us, here’s the full story of how the Sabias Visibility Thread works and why it matters.

Quick FAQ

What can I share in the comments? A new Note responding to the prompt, an older Note you want more traction on, or a recent Substack post you’d love us to help amplify. Your choice.

Do I have to tag Her Wisdom Era? No. Just post to your own profile and drop the link here.

What if I write in Spanish, English, or Spanglish? All three are welcome. Write in whichever language feels good to you.

How long should my Note be? However long feels honest. Two sentences or two hundred words. We’re not counting.

When does the thread close? The magic happens in the first few days when we’re all showing up together, but you can drop in anytime this week.

What if I’m new to Substack Notes? Go to your profile, click “Write a Note,” share your response, then copy the link to paste here.

If you have any more questions, head over to the chat.

Nos vemos en los comentarios. 💫

For a long time, I thought being good at my job was enough. That keeping my head down and working hard would lead to the outcomes I wanted, and that doing great work would get me the recognition I deserved.

Back then, visibility didn’t feel comfortable to me. The visible people I knew all felt like show-offs and brown-nosers. I prided myself on being humble, so how they were showing up didn’t fit who I was or how I wanted to be seen, and I struggled with that. There was a real disconnect between wanting to be visible and not quite knowing how to handle being seen. Bragging about my accomplishments felt icky, but not getting recognized sucked even more. That tension held me back from fully stepping into the leader I was becoming.

And that tension didn’t just live in my head; it showed up in moments that should have felt like wins but didn’t always land that way.

There was this one time I received an award at work. At first, I was happy and honored. The award wasn’t just about doing my job well, but about how I was contributing to the company’s culture. My manager told me it “wasn’t even close”. My work with the Latinx ERG had made me a shoo-in for it. Yet, after I got the award, many of my co-workers whispered that I only got it because of my Latinidad. They tried to erase my contributions as a customer success manager. Their comments made me feel like an imposter. Instead of representing something I should be proud of, the award filled me with self-doubt and resentment.

So yeah, visibility has always been complicated for me, and with good reason. As a Latina, I didn’t receive much of it in the workplace, and when I did, I didn’t know how to hold it. And when I finally started to get comfortable with the idea, my peers made me feel like I didn’t deserve it.

It took becoming part of a Latina community and being surrounded by a bunch of loving Latinas to believe that I was worthy of the respect and admiration that was being directed at me.

I trusted them. I believed them.

I let it land, and I decided to own it.

My leadership, my voice, my impact, my magic - all of it. I finally allowed myself to take it in.

And those small moments of being seen led to much bigger ones. Until I could finally take up the space I’d earned. I could talk about my impact with confidence and orgullo. And I could help other mujeres do the same.

As a content creator, author, and coach, I help women find their voice, own their story, and take up the space they’ve worked hard for. I’m good at it because I’ve been there and found my way to the other side.

My visibility lies in reaching the people who need to hear my message and are ready to act on it.

If I can leave you with anything, it would be this: visibility starts with proudly honoring the mujer you are and what you bring to the table, and with how you see yourself when no one else is looking.

Accept the award with grace.

Receive your flowers.

Say thank you without deflecting.

Talk about your work out loud.

To the mujer who has spent years, sometimes decades, working hard, making others look good, and who downplayed her contributions for fear of what being in the spotlight might feel like, I honor you, I celebrate you, and I invite you to take up all the space you’ve earned.

About the author

Hady Méndez is the award-winning author of Calladita No More, a proud Puerto Rican, and a leadership coach based in Madrid. As the founder of Boldly Speaking LLC, she helps underestimated professionals build confidence, advocate for themselves, and step into leadership. A LinkedIn Top Coaching & Mentoring Voice, her work has been featured in Business Insider, #WeAllGrow Latina, and with organizations such as Lean In Latinas and Ellevate Network.

P.S. Did anything you just read here surprise you? We’d love to hear from you in the comments or el chat.

[TL;DR] I went full periodista rabbit hole on a Mayo Clinic study, and what I found confirmed everything we’ve been living through: midlife women are walking away from careers because the weight of feeling invisible runs too deep. I break down the numbers, the cultural realities, and why Ana and I built Her Wisdom Era.

The data on Latinas in midlife tells a story no one is connecting for us.

• We enter perimenopause earlier.

• We carry more caregiving hours than any other group.

• We own 2.1 million businesses.

I went looking for the numbers. Here’s what I found: porque la que busca, encuentra.

But first, I’m putting my journo hat on for this one, because this essay needs it. This is not your typical menopause rant. It shows, in actual numbers, what happens when every system is designed without us in mind, and what it looks like when we decide to build something anyway.

And what it takes to stay visible.

Last year, as Ana and I began researching to make sure Her Wisdom Era was filling a real gap for Latinas, I kept thinking about an article I had read in the BBC a few months earlier. I had just come back from London, where I spent a fabulous week supporting my former colleague Rosie Nixon on her new venture, Rosie’s Reinvention Retreat. There, aside from resuming my beloved, childless, uninterrupted, diagonal nights’ sleep, I sat in on conversations with experts who opened their hearts and shared their most vulnerable midlife experiences. I was 46 and not sure I needed to hear that much about menopause yet, para ser honesta.

To my surprise, a few months later, I was diagnosed with Grave’s Disease, an autoimmune condition caused by hyperthyroidism that was, basically, a hormonal reguero. Between mood swings and hospitalizations, all of this expedited my desire to figure out what I was going to do next with the career I had spent the past twenty years building so intentionally. I needed to shift that convoluted energy toward healing and to learn more about midlife in general.

And that’s when the clarity hit. This can’t be happening to Ana and me alone, I thought. With so many midlife health changes happening during perimenopause, which can begin anytime after 35, most of us feel exhausted and inadequate in ways that are hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t lived it. Yo pensaba que tenía tiempo. Turns out my thyroid had other plans. And if you work for a big corporation in the U.S., that isolation deepens, because most workplaces have no framework for what you are going through as a woman in midlife, much less as a Latina in midlife.

For context, the UK passed its first laws allowing women to take paid menopause leave in 2025. O sea, más vale tarde que nunca, pero what took so damn long! Tranquila, it gets better… Spain has had paid “disabling menstruation days” since 2023. Meanwhile, Japan is the O.G. here because they have had menstrual leave since 1947. Only ten years after tampons were invented.

While some U.S. corporations like Adobe, Microsoft, Nvidia, and Bank of America have created specialized care support for midlife employees, the U.S. is still well behind the UK and Australia in implementing formal, standalone menopausal leave policies. Most U.S. companies fold support into enhanced healthcare benefits, flexible work arrangements, and wellness programs, if they address it at all.

But here’s where this gets personal for Latinas.

Who Forgot To Send the Memo?

[Spoiler Alert: I’m dropping some good digits here. Bear with me.] Latinas reach menopause about two years earlier than the national median age, and we experience hot flashes for an average of 8.9 years, compared to 6.5 years for white women. Let that land for a second.

You are entering perimenopause sooner, and you are living with symptoms for nearly a decade. That’s most of your forties and a significant part of your fifties spent navigating hormonal shifts that affect your sleep, your concentration, your mood, your energy, and your ability to show up at work the way you used to, all while this country’s workplace pretends none of this is happening. Las latinas siempre primeras en la fila hasta cuando duele, ¿ah?

The Mayo Clinic study that took me to the rabbit hole mentioned earlier, put a price tag on this reality: it found that menopause symptoms cost the U.S. economy $1.8 billion annually because women in midlife are leaving the workforce at staggering rates due to a lack of employer support. That number accounts for all women in the workforce. When you zoom into the Latina experience, with our earlier onset and longer symptom duration, the weight of that figure becomes even more personal.

The Unpaid Sandwicheras Club

Now add to this sancocho what our culture expects of us at this exact same stage. In our families, caregiving is not optional. ¡Dios nos libre de ese pensamiento! We hit midlife with the expectation that we will care for our elders, and many of us are also raising young children or teenagers. Researchers call this the sandwich generation effect, and for Latinas, it becomes a source of deep anxiety and depression because the load we carry is among the heaviest of any group in this country. No wonder we, las sandwicheras, feel depleted and invisible.

According to AARP data and the Family Caregiving Alliance, Latina caregivers provide an average of 30 hours of unpaid care per week, the highest intensity among all demographic groups. That is a second full-time job, one that is invisible in professional settings and unaccounted for in any economic analysis of productivity. On top of that, over 55% of Latina caregivers are also caring for children under the age of 18 while managing the care of an aging parent or relative. You are dealing with perimenopause, a full-time career, the demands of your children, and the needs of your parents, all at once, and the systems around you are not acknowledging any of it.

The financial toll compounds every bit of this. The average family caregiver spends about $7,200 annually in out-of-pocket costs, and for Latino families, according to AARP, this figure often represents a higher percentage of total household income compared to other groups. The financial strain sits encima the emotional one, and 60% of women report having to make a significant change to their work lives because of caregiving demands, whether that means cutting back hours or stepping away from work entirely.

The absurdity of it all is that we are expected to show up at work as if nothing is happening at home. Like, ¡Échale ketchup al sándwich!, and keep going.

And Still, We Build…

Here is what makes all of this so remarkable, and so maddening. Despite everything I just described, Latinas are producing at extraordinary levels. We own and grow 2.1 million businesses in the United States. These Latina-owned businesses employ almost a million people. We account for 30.2% of the total growth in the U.S. labor force since 2010, a figure that outpaces our share of the population by a wide margin.

Mindblown yet? Read those numbers out loud again and hold them next to the reality of earlier perimenopause, 30 hours of weekly unpaid caregiving, and a healthcare system that has no cultural framework for your experience. We are building in spite of all of it, and the broader conversation about women and work has not caught up to what we are doing or what we are going through. ¡Ni se entera!

I can almost hear my mom saying “mándame más, si más me merezco.”

Sources: Mayo Clinic, AARP, Family Caregiving Alliance, UCLA, Bank of America, Pew Research Center

Our Why

To me, every data point in this essay tells a story about invisibility. The workplace doesn’t see your hormonal transition. The healthcare system doesn’t account for your earlier onset or longer symptoms. The cultural expectation of caregiving renders 30 hours of your labor a week invisible. And the extraordinary economic contribution we’re making despite all of it goes unrecognized in the broader conversation about women and work.

Her Wisdom Era exists in spite of all of this, and because of all of this. We are here because we believe, deeply, that we have to be part of building what was never built for us. And because every 30 seconds, a young Latino steps into their adulthood and the workforce. Yet, the workforce is only as strong as its mentors. As these millions of young people rise, we have to make sure their career dreams are matched by the grounded, strategic leadership that only midlife experience and wisdom can provide. WE are that bridge (no pressure!).

The first step toward changing any of this is refusing to let it stay invisible. That’s what Her Wisdom Era is for. Las Sandwicheras en la midlife somos más y no tenemos miedo.

Thank you for showing up. ¿Seguimo’?

Mucho love,

Cristy

P.S. Did anything you just read here surprise you? We’d love to hear from you in the comments or el chat.

Leave a comment

Visibility is one of our core pillars, and we take that seriously. Not because we get to decide who is seen, but because when we find women doing incredible work we admire, the least we can do is make sure you know about them too. And Substack has become one of the most powerful spaces for Latina writers, healers, coaches, thinkers, and creatives to own their voice without asking anyone's permission, which means there is so much brilliance already out there waiting for you to find it.

Ah…we really love it here!

We started paying attention to who was writing on Substack about midlife, reinvention, healing, identity, and all the things that matter to us as Latinas in this chapter.

And we found so many. This list is just the beginning.

Here are 27 women we think you should know

Alison Rand · Forty Fifty · Designer, writer, and founder of Forty Fifty, a social health platform for women in midlife that combines community, preventative health guides, and storytelling rooted in the belief that this season is formative, not a fading out.

Ann Murray Dunning · Señora Era · Co-founder of Vamigas and co-author of Radical Señora Era, writing about ancestral Latina wellness rituals, reclaiming rest, and choosing pleasure over productivity.

Carla Contreras · Nourishing Creativity · Food creative, content strategist, and Chopped alum exploring the intersection of creativity, entrepreneurship, and well-being through her podcast and essays.

Darlene Cordero · Darlene Cordero · Writing about death, mortality, and the fierce clarity that comes from confronting it, with zero patience for spiritual bypassing.

Dr. Mariel Buqué · Landing Softly with Dr. Mariel · Psychologist, bestselling author of Break the Cycle, writing about intergenerational trauma healing, nervous system restoration, and the tenderness of landing softly in a hard world.

Eva Glamaris · Los Hilos de Eva · Boricua curandera and storyteller weaving essays about ritual, ancestry, food, dating in her second bloom, and the sacred threads that run through domestic life.

Felicia Cocotzin Ruiz · Luminosa · Tewa/Xicana curandera and author of Earth Medicines, writing about Indigenous healing traditions, food as medicine, and spiritual practice rooted in the Arizona desert.

Gaby Guzman & Marianna Lopez · Hasta los Huesos · A Spanish-language Substack and podcast that is a sacred space for la bruja moderna, covering shadow work, relationships, generational trauma, and spiritual awakening.

Grace Bastidas · The Mommune · Former Editor-in-Chief of Parents (the first woman of color in that role) and founder of Parents Latina, building a space dedicated to mothers and the people who support them.

Hady Méndez · Hady Unfiltered: Sin Pelos en la Lengua · Nuyorican author of Calladita No More, digital nomad currently living in Madrid, writing about reinvention after corporate life, identity, dating, and what it means to use your voice after decades of being told to stay calladita.

Isidra Mencos · Be Yourself · Spanish-born, California-based journalist and memoirist (author of Promenade of Desire) writing about aging, the creative life, and being unapologetically herself.

Jessica Dueñas · Bottomless to Sober · Latina educator, TEDx speaker, and former Kentucky State Teacher of the Year writing about addiction, recovery, self-worth, and the courage to stop hiding behind achievement.

Juliet Diaz · Love, Juliet · Indigenous Taíno Cubana bruja, award-winning bestselling author of Witchery and The Altar Within, writing reflections and revelations on what it means to be in right relationship with ourselves, the Earth, and one another, rooted in liberatory and decolonial practice.

Julissa Arce · La Historia Uncovered · Bestselling author (You Sound Like a White Girl), activist, and cultural critic uncovering the Latino history, identity, and belonging stories that have been overlooked and urgently need telling.

Karla Guerrero Guerra · Karla Guerrero Guerra · Salvadoran American writer, travel lover, and founder of The Healing Adventures, writing about identity, culture, and self-discovery as a first-generation Latina navigating the world with curiosity and a carry-on.

Kathy Cano-Murillo · The Crafty Chica · Third-generation Mexican American artist, author of twelve books, and founder of CraftyChica, writing about creativity as a portal to joy, Latina entrepreneurship, and a life lived with glitter and intention from Phoenix, AZ.

Lorraine C. Ladish · Aging Like a Legend · Bilingual author of 18 books, founder of Viva Fifty, and one of the OG voices in the Latina midlife space, writing about rebuilding after divorce, health after menopause, and proving that performance does not expire after 50 (or 60).

Lydiana García · Lydiana Garcia · Boricua psychologist, author, and speaker writing about healing, sovereignty, entrepreneurship, and the messy truth of starting over again and again, sometimes en español, always from el corazón.

Mariana Atencio · Permission to Be · Venezuelan American journalist, TEDx speaker, and author of Perfectly You, writing about executive communication, leadership, and how to make your voice land in every room you walk into.

Nancy Marmolejo · Nancy Marmolejo · Executive coach, founder of Talent And Genius, Chief Strategy Officer for Lean In Latinas, and author of the forthcoming Heard, writing about the radical leadership skill nobody teaches you: listening.

Nathalie Molina Niño · Nathalie Molina Niño · Entrepreneur, investor, and author of Leapfrog (Penguin Random House), who just launched her Substack about beginning again from Ecuador while running her company in New York, because reinvention does not wait for a convenient moment.

Rocío Navarro · Waters We Come From · Water healer, ceremonialist, and sociologist exploring water as medicine for personal and collective transformation.

Rosie Acosta · How to Midlife · Mindfulness teacher, Headspace collaborator, author of You Are Radically Loved, and associate producer of the perimenopause docuseries BALANCE, writing about navigating the hormonal, emotional, and spiritual shifts of midlife with humor and honesty.

Roxanna Sarmiento Missong · hello, roxsar · Poet, ceramicist, and paper-cut artist (and my former #WeAllGrow partner!) writing tender, reflective essays about generosity, stillness, and what it costs capable women to keep giving when they also need to rest.

Yvette Marquez-Sharpnack · From Cocina to Career · Creator of Muy Bueno, cookbook author, and food media entrepreneur spilling the chisme on building a brand, preserving Northern Mexican family recipes, and turning la cocina into a career.

And because we are about community and not competition, we also want to shout out a few non-Latina midlife Substacks that we love and learn from: Midstack, Lori Ballen, and Oldster Magazine.

Ahora te toca a ti.

We know this list is just the beginning, because there are SO many more Latinas in midlife writing, creating, and sharing their wisdom on Substack and we want to find every single one. If that is you, or if you know someone who belongs on this list, drop her name and her Substack link in the comments. We want to know her.

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And if you are a paid subscriber to Her Wisdom Era, this is exactly the kind of reciprocity we live for on our Sabias Visibility Thread, a weekly space where paid subscribers share their wisdom notes for the rest of us show up to support in reciprocity. If you want in on that, subscribe and join us.

Subscribe now

Nos vemos en el chat! 💬

Ana

Someone asks you how you’re doing, and you say “fine” because the real answer would take forty-five minutes and a bottle of wine. That is exactly why we made this podcast.

We are Cristy Marrero and Ana Flores, and this is the first episode of Her Wisdom Era, a podcast for Latinas in midlife who are ready to start becoming.

In this episode, we go all the way in. Ana tells the story of the moment she found herself on a cold floor in Oaxaca, feverish, sobbing, her body finally giving out after years of holding together a company she built for other women while she was disappearing inside it. She sold it. And then she had to face something she wasn’t prepared for: losing her entire identity. Cristy talks about the woman she spent decades performing, the perfect editor, the one who made it in NYC and therefore owed something to everyone who sacrificed so she could be here, and the moment she realized her job was never fully her calling.

We talk about what midlife actually means when nobody in your culture gave you language for this season, why we left girlboss and hustle culture behind, the toxic standard that had us carrying everything while making it look like nothing, and what happens when you finally stop shrinking and start choosing yourself.

This conversation is the one we’ve been looking for and couldn’t find anywhere, so we built it. In two languages, because that’s how we think. With all the humor, the honesty, and the imperfections of being a Latina in her forties, fifties, or sixties.

If something in you says, “YES, I know what they mean!” this episode is already yours.

Favorite Moments:

00:00 — Welcome to Her Wisdom Era

01:30 — Who we are and why we built this

03:00 — About the bilingual format

05:30 — Ana’s burnout moment in Oaxaca

08:00 — Cristy’s journey from NYC magazine life to midlife clarity

10:00 — What midlife actually means to us

12:00 — Why we left girlboss and hustle culture behind

15:00 — The toxic standard no one talks about

18:00 — What “Her Wisdom Era” really means

40:00 — Entre Sabias: one-word answers to close every episode

A few recommendations (no pressure!):

1. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & YouTube

2. Join the community on Substack where the conversation continues between episodes: herwisdomera.com

3. Hit subscribe and leave a review so more sabias can find us.

4. Follow us on Instagram: @her.wisdomera | @anaflores_me | @mcristymmarrero

5. Watch us on YouTube: @herwisdomera

Gracias por escucharnos.

Ana + Cristy

Episode Credits

Her Wisdom Era is hosted by Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero

Our producer and editorial coach is Laura Ubaté. La gran Lau.

Theme music and sound engineering by Stephen Hermann for Explosion Robinson AKA El Santo.

Social media by Team Belu, the best.

Branding by la diosa Leticia Vidaurri.

Our Executive Producers are Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero.

Subscribe now

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Amiga, we want you to hear it too.

Her Wisdom Era, the podcast, is what happens when two amigas with decades of experience, strong opinions, and zero interest in playing small sit down to talk about what actually matters: reinvention, wealth, visibility, and the freedom we’ve earned. Somos Ana y Cristy, and every episode is the conversation we wish we’d had ten years ago, honest, funny, a little loud, and always raw.

Hit play on the trailer, subscribe wherever you listen, and leave us a review so more sabias can find us. We tell you all about why we decided to launch this platform, why together, and why now.

The podcast drops every two weeks, but we’re continuing the conversation between episodes right here on Substack, so if you’re not subscribed yet, ¡dale!

Subscribe now

You can also follow us on Instagram @her.wisdomera | @anaflores_me | @mcristymarrero 

Watch us on YouTube: @herwisdomera. 

Gracias por estar.

Ana + Cristy

Episode Credits

Her Wisdom Era is hosted by Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero

Our producer and editorial coach is Laura Ubaté. La gran Lau.

Theme music and sound engineering by Stephen Hermann for Explosion Robinson AKA El Santo.

Social media by Team Belu, the best.

Branding by la diosa Leticia Vidaurri.

Our Executive Producers are Ana Flores and Cristy Marrero.

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Somos Ana y Cristy, dos amigas que se conocieron en plena era de jefas, y que ahora están listas para responder esa pregunta que tantas mujeres en el midlife se hacen: “¿Hay otra manera de hacer esto?”

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