Hello everyone, I’m happy to join this community. My name is Jeudi Cornejo Brealey. I’m an intersectional artist (writer/director/performer). I mainly create juke box musicals. My newest is called “La Sangre Llama” and is my maternal family’s immigration story. I’m the daughter/granddaughter of Costa Rican/Mexican immigrants, the mother of neurodivergent twins, I’ve been married for 32 years. In my family I’m the Keeper of the Kin. I started this Substack blog a year ago. Here’s a post to share…. https://thevintagevoice.substack.com/p/im-not-as-white-as-i-look-part-1?r=91s4d&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thinking about this: "In my adolescent years sex and self pleasure = shame. The Madonna Whore Complex was alive and well in my household growing up." @elenaoutloud . Thanks for this Elena; for breaking the silence and speaking up. Congratulations. (I may have to write a whole post about this one. For now, here's a note.)
In my childhood home, there were n-e-v-e-r any open discussions of sexuality. None. When I was about 8 or 9, a little book showed up in the house that discussed animal reproduction. It wasn't a children's book, instead it was a book to coach adults on how to discuss the subject with kids. It looked out of date, second hand and clinical. It was slim and short in length. I found it in a drawer where my mom would keep greeting cards and stationery. She knew I loved looking through that drawer, so I think she tucked it in there for me to find, maybe thinking I would ask her about it and that would start a dialogue about the birds and the bees. But it kind of backfired as a launchpad for a discussion, because I was afraid to ask her about it, since she would often reproach me for "digging through her things". Even though the stationery drawer wasn't off limits, it was still located in her nightstand and this made me feel like I came across something I shouldn't have. So I never took the bait; never asked the question.
Until I had sex ed in school, anything I learned was from older cousins, or from friends, or pop culture in cheap paperbacks and films and yet this unspoken "Madonna/Whore" trope was pervasive. Culturally, I think there was this fear that even discussing sexuality would lead to sex. Instead it lead to ignorance and poor decisions and victimization.
At the same time, I could sense that a couple of relatives put me in the latter of the categories because I was "too much" to fit into their cultural ideas of what it meant to be a good girl. I think for one very old tía it meant I was too modern (not submissive) and for an extremely macho younger tío by marriage --who would tell my aunt how to dress, once shaming her publicly for wearing something he thought was too provocative-- it meant I was too American (also meaning not submissive).
Hello everyone, I’m happy to join this community. My name is Jeudi Cornejo Brealey. I’m an intersectional artist (writer/director/performer). I mainly create juke box musicals. My newest is called “La Sangre Llama” and is my maternal family’s immigration story. I’m the daughter/granddaughter of Costa Rican/Mexican immigrants, the mother of neurodivergent twins, I’ve been married for 32 years. In my family I’m the Keeper of the Kin. I started this Substack blog a year ago. Here’s a post to share…. https://thevintagevoice.substack.com/p/im-not-as-white-as-i-look-part-1?r=91s4d&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Ooohhh! Did it just get hot in here? Here's my post and it's the spiciest thing I've written on Substack so far. https://substack.com/@elenaoutloud/note/c-261224128?r=63rajw&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web Let's talk about it ladies!
Thinking about this: "In my adolescent years sex and self pleasure = shame. The Madonna Whore Complex was alive and well in my household growing up." @elenaoutloud . Thanks for this Elena; for breaking the silence and speaking up. Congratulations. (I may have to write a whole post about this one. For now, here's a note.)
In my childhood home, there were n-e-v-e-r any open discussions of sexuality. None. When I was about 8 or 9, a little book showed up in the house that discussed animal reproduction. It wasn't a children's book, instead it was a book to coach adults on how to discuss the subject with kids. It looked out of date, second hand and clinical. It was slim and short in length. I found it in a drawer where my mom would keep greeting cards and stationery. She knew I loved looking through that drawer, so I think she tucked it in there for me to find, maybe thinking I would ask her about it and that would start a dialogue about the birds and the bees. But it kind of backfired as a launchpad for a discussion, because I was afraid to ask her about it, since she would often reproach me for "digging through her things". Even though the stationery drawer wasn't off limits, it was still located in her nightstand and this made me feel like I came across something I shouldn't have. So I never took the bait; never asked the question.
Until I had sex ed in school, anything I learned was from older cousins, or from friends, or pop culture in cheap paperbacks and films and yet this unspoken "Madonna/Whore" trope was pervasive. Culturally, I think there was this fear that even discussing sexuality would lead to sex. Instead it lead to ignorance and poor decisions and victimization.
At the same time, I could sense that a couple of relatives put me in the latter of the categories because I was "too much" to fit into their cultural ideas of what it meant to be a good girl. I think for one very old tía it meant I was too modern (not submissive) and for an extremely macho younger tío by marriage --who would tell my aunt how to dress, once shaming her publicly for wearing something he thought was too provocative-- it meant I was too American (also meaning not submissive).
Love this for you, Elena! 🥰
Me too! ☺️
Love the spiciness!
Happy to bring it! 🌶️